Tuesday, November 1, 2016

Silence is not always golden

I've been going back and forth with this post. I don't know where to start or how to begin. One minute I want to press publish. The other I'm pressing save and pushing my laptop away from me like it's a monster.

I'm typically very reserved and quiet. I watch from the sidelines. But I think that it's very important that I be honest with all of you.


An Autobiography in Five Chapters 
Chapter One 
I walk down the street. 
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk. 
I fall in. 
I am lost. I am helpless.
It takes forever to find a way out. 

Chapter Two 
I walk down the same street. 
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk. 
I pretend I don't see it. 
I fall in, again. 
I can't believe I am in the same place. 
But it isn't my fault. 
It still takes time a long time to get out. 

Chapter Three
I walk down the same street. 
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk. 
I see it there. 
I fall in ... it's a habit ... but my eyes are open. 
I know where I am. 
It is my fault. 
I get out immediately. 

Chapter Four 
I walk down the same street. 
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk. 
I walk around it. 

Chapter Five 
I walk down a different street. 

~Anonymous


Esh.
Even as I read over it I know it sounds a bit heavy handed. But I've been in a major rut. In more ways than one. I won't bore you with the gritty details but writing was one of them. I always take a break from writing after having a baby. I find that it clears my head and gives me wonderful bonding time with my new loved one. But this time, I got cocky because after Baby Read was a few months old, the words were not coming, at least not typed out. But they were there. I could just picture them floating in my head yet something was blocking them, making it impossible for me to catch them. 

At one point I pushed away all my WIP's simply because my heart wasn't into it.

I kept waiting for my spirits to lift. But that never happened. If my lack of confidence was the first clue then pulling away from my family and friends was a close runner up.

I pulled away from them intentionally. I felt like a siphon that was sucking up their energy. They didn't hang up the phone or end a conversation feeling upbeat. Instead it was the opposite.

I continued pushing them away, and tried to give my manuscripts everything I had. If my end word goal one day turned out to be 50, I had to learn to be okay with that. If it was 500. Even better.

But inside, I felt like I was losing it. The best way to explain it (and as I told my husband)  was that I was a walking contradiction. I knew I needed to sleep but I couldn't. I knew I should take a break and relax with the kids but my kitchen had to be spotless or I just had to run. It felt like I had to keep moving. This kept building and building up. Before long it became too much.

I have a husband who works long hours and five kids who depend on me. Push aside the writing, the words, the characters. My family comes first. I had to seek treatment and fast.

To be honest, I slightly cringe at the word treatment because that means that something was wrong. And I hate to admit that something is ever wrong. But something was.

In the end I spent two weeks away from my family in a facility similar to Fairfax. How apropos for the writer who created Fairfax. But this wasn't fiction. This facility was filled with real people. Real problems. It was reality where you were forced to confront your problems. In a way, there's a sense of freedom there because the people you're sharing a room with or walking past in the hallway all have problems. Who are they to judge?

Through treatment (and doctors of course) I realized I'm manic depressive and have panic disorder.

If you're like me, the first thing you picture when you think of manic is the two white masks, one laughing and the other sad. But I'm learning that it's so much more than wearing one mask for a few weeks, up to a few months. Only to switch it out for the other. What goes on behind the mask is the worst. It feels like your psyche is breaking and your so afraid that it actually will and it will be irreparable.

It's a situation that I never thought I'd be in or telling you about. But I think it's important to be honest to you. So if you've sent me a message, a text, comment, or tag and haven't replied. I'm sorry.

Slowly but surely I'm getting back into the swing of things.

And yes, that includes writing. :) But I'm taking my time. I could rush and give you all a book. But it wouldn't be it's best.

Until then, I want to leave you with a quote from John McManamy that rings true:

We excel at wearing the mask. We fool our friends, our loved ones, our colleagues, our doctors, even. Deep down inside, however, we are the crying clown, our souls in torment, our psyches in a thousand pieces.

Thursday, February 11, 2016

Sloan Brothers Cover Reveal



I am SO excited to share with you the new covers for the Sloan Brothers Series!! They were designed by Hang Le and I think she did an amazing job! To celebrate the new covers all three books are on sale for .99 cents! The Sloan's (Thayer, Macsen and Mathias) have a big place in my heart. With the first book, everyone is still in college. But as the series progresses, we slowly get to watch the characters grow up. I love how that progression is shown through the covers. :)

I know quite a few of you have asked about the final book in the series, Every Changing Way. As of now, I have no set release date. When I do I'll be shouting it from the roof tops. ;)

But, all right, all right. Enough talking. Let's get to the fun stuff — THE COVERS!!! 







Aren't they gorgeous?!? I hope you love them as much as I do!!

-Calia 

Saturday, January 2, 2016

What's in store for 2016?



At seven months pregnant, I'm slipping into that lovely nesting stage where I want everything organized and ready for the baby. Somehow, that has extended to my characters and their stories because I know that I'll be useless when the baby arrives. I go into hibernation and don't emerge for a good three months.

So to ring in the New Year's right I wanted to talk about what books will be published and what I am or plan on writing.

First up? 
UNHINGE releases in DAYS.
Nine Days to be exact. (But who's counting?)




That's terrifying to me because I tend to be more attached to the Fairfax cast than most of my characters. I'm obsessed with their flaws and the inner workings of their minds. They always feel so real to me.Victoria is no exception. Like Naomi, she feels trapped in Fairfax. She's starting to realize that she doesn't belong there. Yet in order to leave she has to uncover the past and find out what led her to Fairfax in the first place.

Her story, to me, was equally as heartbreaking as Naomi's but for completely different reasons. I remember when I first wrote about her in Unravel. Even then she was very compelling to me. Who was this beautiful woman, walking around in full make-up, pajamas and that fur coat? Why was she always humming to her baby? Why did she speak in riddles and always look like her head was in the clouds?

She was enchanting yet I knew that there was something gruesome in her past and I HAD to find out.

I'd be the biggest liar if I said Victoria's book was easy to write. It wasn't. There were so many layers to her story and I had to flesh out every single part. Even the parts that were extremely dark.

But I'm so happy in how her story turned out. I hope you all enjoy her story. And I hope you're excited to walk back down the halls of Fairfax!!


Up next?
LACHLAN, LACHLAN, LACHLAN! 

Yes, he has a book. :) For the past year I've been outlining and working on scenes for his story whenever I had the chance. And while there's a huge part of me that is so ready to go back to the characters of Unravel, I'm also scared out my mind.
Naomi gripped ahold of my heart while I wrote her story. It's easy to connect with her but hard to detach from her. And she plays such a HUGE role in Lachlan's story.

There's not much I can say without spoiling the story, just that Unravel started it all. Unlock will end it.
Not the cover. Just an image that reminds me of Lachlan's story. :) 


LASTLY..
I'm extremely excited to start digging into The Surviving Trace.
I love this story with all my heart. When I open up the manuscript or even do research, my pulse picks up because there's something so special about this book. There's many elements as to why. One being that at the beginning (seven years ago) this story and characters were once part of Unravel. About six months before I published Unravel I cut this HUGE chunk out. I'm talking 50k worth of words. (Yeah it's just a number but believe me, it kills a writers heart.) There was just SO MUCH already going on in Unravel. It would've been too much storyline.
But I couldn't delete this other half of the story. It had less to do about the amount of words but the worth of them and what they meant to me. So much about TST made my heart race and screamed at me to finish.
So I put it away, determined that at some point I'd open the manuscript back up.

Every day I work on this story I find something different to love about it. It's unique and that's a breath of fresh air for me.  

Fairfax stories present their own challenges, like not revealing anything too soon. And The Surviving Trace has the same vibe— I have to watch how I introduce certain characters or how a scene plays out. TST has mystery and suspense, but at its core it is nothing but a love story.

I can't wait for you all to meet Serene and Étienne!! (If you look through the first chapter of Unravel you will see the smallest glimpse of them. ;) )



2016 may not seemed horribly packed, but I like it this way. 2015 was filled with nothing but comparisons. Of me watching other authors publish, publish, publish while I was trying to finish just one story. I want to slow down and really appreciate my characters. I only have one chance to enjoy their stories and it's so easy to forget that.

Monday, August 31, 2015

Fairfax News!








Why am I re-posting the cover for Victoria's story?

Because we have a new title for her story: UNHINGE.

The biggest question I'm sure everyone is thinking is why did the title change?

Simply put: Victoria's—or as she was known in Unravel, Pretend Mommy—story could have a thousand great titles but there will be only one that really clicks into place. (Before Unravel was chosen for Naomi's book, the titles were Unwritten and then for awhile, Unveil. I have a thing for words starting with Un. LOL)

This title is perfect for Victoria's story.

When I look at the new cover I get chills. The title and picture put together is like two parallel worlds colliding—we get to see both how Victoria views herself and how everyone else would label her.

I am so excited for everyone to read Victoria's story! You get a better insight at what life is like at Fairfax and of course you get to meet some new patients along the way! This book goes beyond discovering the truth. I feel like it's a look at someone who has truly lost her sanity and is trying to gain it back!

Unhinge is not a sequel to Unravel. The only thing these two books have in common is the setting. :)

You can pre-order here:
AMAZON
BARNES AND NOBLE
KOBO

Friday, February 27, 2015

UNHINGE cover reveal!!



We're about six months away until UNHINGE releases, YAY! The golden question I'm asked these past few months is: "Who is Victoria?" 
We met her briefly in Unravel.





Oh, Victoria. I can't wait for you to meet this woman, yet I'm terrified. Like Naomi, I want to protect her and hold onto her story for as long as I can. There are so many intricate pieces to Unhinge I could write a novella about it. But I'll spare you and instead reveal the unofficial blurb of Unhinge and the cover. Which I'm so excited about!!!!!


"They say my name is Victoria. 

They say I'm twenty-seven. 

 They say I've been in this psych ward for over a year. 

 They say my husband is dead, and that my daughter is too.

 But.

 Wes visits me almost every night, and I hold my daughter every day. 

 They say, they say, they say...

 I say, it's time to untangle the past, and uncover the truth."






I should mention that UNHINGE is not a sequel to Unravel. The only thing the two stories share is the location: good ole' Fairfax!

Are you ready to go back?

PREORDER UNHINGE:
Google Play: http://bit.ly/1AcUacT

ADD TO GOODREADS: http://bit.ly/1DvHe6J









Tuesday, February 17, 2015

NAOMI DAY


"I press my forehead against the window and breathe on the glass..."

Okay, so it's not actually Naomi's birthday. But today is pretty close runner up.
Today is  UNRAVEL's first pub birthday. Which seems crazy to me. I feel like this last past year has been a big blur. Really great things have happened. All because of this book and because of the readers.




Leading up the release of Unravel was nothing but anxiety and fears that her story wouldn't be accepted. I knew a story like Naomi's was non-existent in the Indie World. There was no one category that it fit into. It wasn't New Adult. Certainly wasn't contemporary. Suspense or thriller? I didn't know.
Publishing is a game of Russian Roulette. The minute you send the book out in the world is the second that you resign yourself to fact that your beloved story may do great.
Or really, really bad.
But Naomi's story was embraced. People started talking about it, spreading the word. Dissecting the story, going back and re-reading to find the truth in her words.
And to see that was amazing.

Seven years ago I was prowling through the bookshelves. I would stop in the R section, right next to Nora Roberts' books, and envision one of my books there.
In August, I got to actually see that happen. Thanks to you, the reader. A really phenomenal agent that saw it's potential, and amazing team at Ballantine!












Turkish Version of UNRAVEL—Published by Yabancı Yayınları. 




"Listen closely. Hang onto every word. But most of all, please believe me." 

I get a lot of questions about UNTANGLE. This book is separate from Naomi's. Although you did meet Victoria in Naomi's book. I WANT to say more, but just like Naomi's story, I'm keeping my lips zipped. :)
Something I can talk a little bit about? The cover. I've seen it and LOVE it. I can't wait for it to be revealed. The picture chosen for the cover is 100% Victoria and fits her story perfectly.

And we can't forget Lachlan. He does have a story, and it's definitely not a retelling of Unravel. His book will pick up where we left off in Unravel, give or take a few months.
I've outlined and worked on a few chapters here or there. Just from those few scenes, I can see that Unravel was just scratching the surface... ;)


Tuesday, April 1, 2014

BIG ANNOUNCEMENT!!




It’s time for that exciting news I’ve mentioned.
It’s actually a miracle that I’ve kept my mouth shut for this long.

It’s been a whirlwind since UNRAVEL released. I was terrified to publish Naomi’s story.  I didn’t know how people would take UNRAVEL. You read the book, and you spread the word. You all embraced these interesting characters. It’s been an amazing six weeks.

But lets back up a week before I released UNRAVEL and I signed with Amy Tannenbaum from the Jane Rotrosen Agency.

This was the first holy-crap-is–this-happening-moment?!

If you know anything about me, it’s that I’ve been hesitant to sign with an agent. But Amy is the real deal. She’s made this experience so exciting. She’s enthusiastic and really believed in Naomi’s story and never stops working. No, I’m not exaggerating. She really works around the clock!

Now that leads me to my second holy-crap-is-this-happening-moment?!

I’m so happy to announce that I signed a TWO-book deal with Random House.

Can we all let that sink in for a moment?

Random House.

I keep waiting for the shock to wear off, but it hasn’t.
This is so much more than a book deal for me.

I look past the cover and words of UNRAVEL and see the moment six years ago where I first pictured Naomi staring out of the window. Or when I timidly sent my older sister chapters.

I stack those moments one on top of the other. And they’ve all led to this.

I’m also so excited to be working with Linda Marrow from Random House. She too saw potential in UNRAVEL.

So what does this all mean? It’s nothing but good, you guys. The e-book price for UNRAVEL is remaining at 2.99 (http://amzn.to/1kp7cyb) . Which is FANTASTIC!

I know you all have been wanting to see UNRAVEL in bookstores and I’m excited to say that it will be coming your way August 26th.

What is the second book? I can’t really say right now. But you haven’t seen the last of the Fairfax characters. They have a lot to say... So does a certain love interest in Naomi’s life.

I want to say thank you to every single person who gave UNRAVEL a try. I read all your messages and comments. I see your UNRAVEL collages and I’m floored and so, so, so grateful.  

Tschüss!
Calia